The Art of Love is Good Business
Creating a better way to do business
We’re taking a break from blog posts to finish writing our book
We just wanted to let our readers know:
We’re taking a hiatus from blog articles to concentrate on completing our book.
More excerpts from the book will be coming up.
In the meantime, feel free to check out our archived articles. You’re sure to find something there that will help you make a difference that matters.
Retain employees with Love and Lifeboats
Patty Carter appears again in our blog with another great story about an experience she had during her management years with an organization working with at-risk individuals.
Her story is a tale of two managerial candidates and how things ended up without the practice of Love in business; and explores what could have happened if Love had reigned. Patty’s story provides information, inspiration, and guidance to those of us who have discovered that the ‘practice of Love IS good business’ and are seeking to find our way forward on this pathway to Success.
Here is her story . . .
A few years ago, I was part of a panel that was interviewing for a middle management position. This was a particularly significant interview because the previous manager was blatantly abusive to staff and was not upholding the terms and conditions of the contract. This was a government contract that partnered with a State parole team that was being violated in many ways. The contract was in jeopardy and the organization’s reputation was being trashed. The situation had become emotionally charged and was in need of a strong leader with a firm hand but a gentle touch.
The office was a mess and staff had been traumatized to the point that the word “lawsuit” came up in nearly every conversation. Upper management was genuinely concerned and doing everything possible to resolve the situation – including having very open conversations with staff. Things were moving slowly because of the delicate nature of the situation – but final interviews had finally begun.
We were looking for someone that had good leadership skills, could think well outside of the box, was firm but able to bring about healing to staff, clients, peers, the parole team AND save the contract. Tall order and definitely not for wimps – or a tough manager that wanted to bully everything and everyone into shape.
We were down to two very strong candidates that could get the job done. One of the questions I asked was “What would you do with an employee that had become a problem or was not performing well?” The first candidate said, “Make sure they’re properly trained, talk to them and if that doesn’t work you go through HR to start the termination process”.
The second candidate said he would do everything he could to pull someone back into the lifeboat. I asked him to tell us a little more about what he meant. He elaborated by saying he felt it was important to know what was going on with an employee that had gone off the rails and detailed how he would handle the situation.
One answer embraced, the other one dismissed. One was focused on developing staff and one focused on getting an employee into line. I think both approaches can be used – but the dismissive approach needs a little tweaking.
My education, experience and training has taught me that people do what they do for a reason and it’s part of our job as managers to look into what is going on with an employee that is not performing as expected. I think you have to ask yourself some key questions before taking disciplinary action or contacting HR.
Once you’ve asked yourself those questions and been honest in your assessment, it’s time to talk to the employee. This should be a conversation not a berating session. State the facts, show concern and that you value him or her by asking questions. Then listen – not just with your head but with your heart as well. Head and heart are not mutually exclusive. One discerns, the other seeks to understand and heal. This is a powerful combination and from a business perspective, is a win-win for everyone.
Those who work for us are real people with real lives. Their work needs are not limited to training and a paycheck. They need to feel like a valued member of the team. Termination is not always the answer. While there are times when it may be necessary to terminate employment, it should not be the goal when dealing with struggling employees. When correction (or discipline) is necessary, use compassion and wisdom to pull the person back into the lifeboat. The employee will grow and learn and get better. And so will the rest of the team.
Interestingly enough, the candidate that focused on getting employees in line got the job and was eventually promoted again. However, he turned into a demanding, overbearing manager. It didn’t take long for that style to result in turnover and lower performance in his department . Had this manager taken a different approach or returned to a more caring and compassionate way of being, the entire region he managed would have gone in a different direction and been more successful.
The way we see and how we approach our employees (and everyone in our lives) will determine the success of our relationships. And when it comes to business, seeing employees through the eyes of kindness and compassion and approaching them from a place of love will determine an efficient and successful business.
Love matters, and it makes all the difference.
Author Patricia Carter has a passion for training and developing staff for excellent, positive outcomes and has been successful in creating an environment of learning and growth for the benefit of her teams and employers. She has nearly 10 years’ experience in management working with at-risk individuals.
Check out her previous post here: http://loveisgoodbusiness.org/2016/03/
And remember, together we can make a difference that matters.
Let Love Show the Way in Business
DO WHAT YOUR LOVE WOULD DO
So, is that it? Just do what our Love would do, and we have a better way to work with people? Well, the short answer is:
Yes, it is that simple.
Doing what our Love would do is the key ingredient to the better WAY of working with people we have been talking about.
Bringing Love into the WAY we work with our employees is transformative. Love empowers, enables, inspires, enhances, and strengthens all our encounters.
Love empowers us as managers, to bring the best version of ourselves to each encounter with our employees. It is the essential key to having a better way of working with our employees; a way that empowers us and them to fulfill the vision we have of the difference we want to make for our organizations and our employees.
Love enables us to give our employees the kind of support and guidance they need to do their best work.
Love inspires us to bring the full measure of our discretionary effort to the execution of our responsibilities.
Love is an enhancer. It enhances our Human character, our capacity to be patient, kind, humble, positive, accepting, truthful, protective, trusting, hopeful, and perseverant. All of which make us a better manager; with a better way of working with our employees. It gives us the ability to look beyond our preset notions and biases about our employees, to know our employees for the measure of who they are as individual people, and what motivates and inspires them to bring the full measure of their discretionary effort to their work. Love enhances our ability to connect with our employees as fellow Human Beings, so they feel cared about and valued for who they are.
Love strengthens our courage to tackle the really challenging tasks; like difficult conversations that require compassion and empathy for better collaboration and reaching win-win solutions
Let’s dip into how Love does all of this, how using the power of Love enables, inspires, enhances, and courageously strengthens the way we interact with our employees.
First, when we look at the world through the eyes of Love, we see a very different Reality. We see a world with more opportunity and possibility. We see beyond our self-imposed limitations of our fear based model of reality. We see more holistically. Love changes our perspective and gives us a more complete picture of the situation at hand and the options we must work with. It gives us sensitivity to nuances and subtleties—critical information we don’t otherwise pick up on. This Information tells us what each of our employees need to be fully engaged and contributing at the top of their game.
Second, the phrase “Do What Your Love Would Do” has an attractive ring to it because it strikes a chord with our innate Wisdom. Our instinctive knowledge tells us doing what our Love would do is the best possible way to work with people. Even when we are not sure what our Love would do, following our best hunch of what we think it would do, is always the optimum way to interact with our employees. On average, we will always have the best possible outcome if we take our best shot at doing what we believe our Love would do. This is something our heart already knows, it longs for it. We are even neurologically hard wired for it. We can feel it in our bones.
Third, Love starts with an attitude not an emotion. Our attitude of care and concern is the source of the emotion of Love that we feel. We will be going into much more depth on Love as an attitude in the next section of the book.
Fourth, because Love is an attitude, it is an option. It is an attitude we choose to have or not have. While we can’t always see the option, Love is a choice we can make. It isn’t something that just happens without our participation.
Over the years we have observed, in ourselves and our clients, that when we choose an attitude of deep care and concern for the Well-Being of ourselves and others, Love becomes our ground of being, the place in our interior we operate from, and thus the foundation of our better way of working with people. Having our words and actions, even our thoughts and feelings, empowered and guided by Love is definitely a better Way of working with people, especially our employees.
So then, doing what our Love would do begins with being willing to care. To care about bringing the full measure of what we can contribute to the success of our department and support of the people we look to for that success. To care about the Well-Being of our employees as fellow Human beings and their success as members of the team we depend on for the success of our vision. Love is caring deeply about Well-Being. And the more we do what our Love would do, the more deeply we care about doing it.
This is an excerpt from our upcoming book. Hope you enjoyed it.
We hope this inspires you to make a difference that truly matters – by doing what your Love would do.
Learning Who Our Employees Are through Empathic Understanding
Our philosophy behind the Art of Love is Good Business draws on several key ingredients. One of these is Empathic Understanding. The following is an excerpt from our upcoming book. In one chapter, we explore Empathic Understanding and its relevance to how we manage our employees. We hope you enjoy this short exploration. . .
An essential part of optimizing our effectiveness at achieving our management goals, is to manage our employee for who the employee is, not who we think the employee should be.
We all likely understand, at least to some degree, that we can’t use a one-size-fits-all approach to management. We need to manage employees as individuals. This means working with each employee differently based on who they are as an individual person–someone with all the knowledge, skills, hopes, fears, weaknesses, and aspirations unique to them as an individual Human Being. This is critical information we need in order to be effective mangers.
Of course, managing employees individually seems like a great idea. However, if you have tried to do this, you have likely found it very challenging, if not impossible, to do very well.
The key to doing this successfully is in discovering who our employees truly are. As managers, we tend to see our employees only in terms of our expectations about the work they do and how they should do it. This limited perspective of our employees obstructs our ability to manage them as individual people. It leaves us without vital details and nuances that give us a fuller context to the situation at hand, as well as a suitable awareness of their unique strengths and weaknesses as individuals. All of which is the kind of information we need to support them, as unique individuals, to be at the top of their game.
Context is everything. Without the right context, we don’t stand a chance of doing our best work as managers.
Context plays an essential role in optimizing the effectiveness of our management efforts in this area. The knowledge and insight we gain through Empathic Understanding brings context to the content of our interactions with our employees. Context gives us the back story to what the employee is doing and saying. We need the right context to know the full meaning and significance of employees’ actions, gestures, and words.
When we attempt to manage our employees without sufficient information and context, it leads to a lot of miscommunication, frustration, disappointment, and conflict with them. It usually causes a waste of energy and a loss of productivity in their work. This tension and stress can eventually lead to burn-out and disengagement for both them and us. This is also how we end up losing our passion and the vision of the difference we want to make for our organization and the people work with.
Empathic Understanding is a key part of the answer to how to manage our employees as individual Human Beings. Empathic Understanding is how we can know our employees as individual people. It gives us access to the knowledge we need to manage our employees for who they are, not who we think they should be.
Looking beyond our expectations to see our employees as whole individuals doesn’t take anything away from the work we need them to do or the results we want them to deliver. It only changes how well informed we are about how to support and empower them. It provides us with the subtle details and context to know how to make the difference we want to make.
Pass it on – The Art of Love is Good Business
Part of our mission at The Art of Love is Good Business blog is to share the stories of others who have found that Love is truly Good Business.
Here is one such story from Alim Thompson.
LOVE IS NOT A COMMON TOPIC IN BUSINESS – IT NEEDS TO BE
Business and Leadership Mentor, Visionary Entrepreneur, Global Networker, Former CEO
I have always loved what I do, and it has been a powerful force for my success. My love for what I do is so strong that I could not contain it even if I wanted to – and I don’t. That’s not to say it’s always fun and games and a bed of roses. But challenges are much easier to face, if you love what you’re doing.
I also choose to work with people I can love. I’m not talking about touchy, feely, but people I look forward to seeing and being with every day. Again, challenges are much easier to face if you love the people you’re facing them with. If you don’t love your spouse, your home life is hell. Same for your work life. You’re spending a good chunk of your life with your workmates. I have passed up many talented people for people with perhaps less talent, maybe not quite as smart, but people who would be a fit with me. This is how I have created loving, caring cultures, and have had people who have consistently gone above and beyond to fulfill the objectives at hand.
Many leaders don’t believe this is practical for routine, drone work. My first business was wholesaling which was mostly a warehouse operation. People loved working the routine warehouse jobs because they felt respected and cared for. They contributed many great, efficiency improving ideas. Turnover was very low for such work. Loving them was much more effective and efficient than lording over them with threats.
“All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need” (Beatles)
We hope you found Alim’s article inspirational. Feel free to share with others. We did.
Remember, together we can make a difference that matters.
Love Helps in the Art of Medicine
This is the winning entry from our recent contest. The Best Medicine by Megan Gregor is so good we just have to share it and the wonderful things illustrated here about the philosophy of The Art of Love is Good Business blog.
From our perspective, this story is about Love as a well-spring of resources for delivering customer service above and beyond in circumstances that seem insurmountable. The story shows how Love informs our intuition, excites our creativity, and gives us the courage to go beyond our barriers to find answers.
Insight, courage, and humility all play a role in how Megan’s actions were successful.
Enjoy. And we hope you find inspiration in Megan’s story.
The Best Medicine
By Megan Gregor
I’m old so my story is old. Back when I was twenty six, I got a job as an adherence specialist for people living with HIV and AIDS. I was fresh out of grad school. I had no experience. I barely understood the job title. I was lured by the idea that I could help people who were really in need.
My passion to help others is part of who I am. It’s how I was raised and how I want to live; it’s what I teach my kids, and how I want to be remembered. I took the job to help people in need…but the problem was that they did not want my help.
This had not occurred to me when I took the job but it made a lot of sense when I thought about it. As adherence specialist, I was to go to all the public clinics, look at the records of med pick-ups, and determine who was not on track taking their meds. I was supposed to identify, reach out to, and problem solve with those individuals. The key to HIV/AIDS drug therapy is adherence. If you skip doses the meds become less and less effective. And at that time, there were only so many options for meds. If you wore them all out, then you had no options for treatment.
I tried a lot of intervention styles to reach out to my clients. They were a tough bunch because they were the noncompliant. They missed meds, and often appointments. It was hard to get a working phone number and harder to meet up. Once I’d get someone on the line or in a meeting room, I tried to explain the importance of the meds. I tried to identify barriers to their picking up meds: transportation, privacy, time off from work, mental and physical health problems. The lists were long. Progress was slow and difficult. There was a lot of backsliding.
I knew they saw me as a young whippersnapper who had no clue what they were going through. I think some met with me out of pity and others were bored. It was hard to break through this perception because I believed it was mostly accurate.
Then I had a brainstorm. I was really worried about a client who had kids and was living in an abusive home situation. She had no job, money, or car. It seemed like some of those things needed to be helped before I could really expect her to pick up and religiously take her meds. She needed a safe place. Yet she would not listen to my suggestions. My brainstorm was when I realized who she would listen to.
She didn’t need me. She needed peers. While I had sincere love and compassion for her situation, and for all of my clients, I wasn’t able to connect meaningfully. Once I could admit that, I worked hard to get approval, funding, and cooperation for what they did need.
They needed each other. A safe place to complain about: side effects, jilted lovers, the counselors, the system, the cruelty of fate. They needed to hear each other out and then offer reality checks. Their reality. Not mine.
What I did was connect the dots. In their lives, where was the money? The drug companies had the money. I wrote a simple grant to the pharmaceutical company that made the most popular of the HIV/AIDs meds. It was in their best interest to have clients take their meds accurately, thereby showing the efficacy. With the funds, I lined up a meeting place, staff (to be in the background providing info and security), and incentives like the occasional raffle, or attendance prizes.
I won’t bore you with the stats, but just having a place to go and talk helped their adherence rates rise. The correlation was strong. The more meetings attended, the more accurate the med pick-ups were. Meds, a support system, education, and case management were important to helping these individuals improve their adherence. But it was the love and compassion of their peers that made the biggest difference in their overall health trajectory.
As I mentioned, I’m older now and I haven’t had a paying job in a while. But the lesson learned has stayed with me. Being heard and understood with love and compassion can sometimes be the best medicine.
The End
Bravo, Megan!
To further explore the philosophy that Love is the best medicine, we recommend this newsletter article from Unlimited Love called Love Heals http://unlimitedloveinstitute.org/newsletter/giving-tuesday-2016-2.html.
Remember, together we can all make a difference that truly matters.
And the winners are:
1st – The Best Medicine by Megan Gregor
2nd – Un-rapped by Rich Lagomarsino
3rd – Working Happy by Kathy Quatraro
Honorable Mention – The Hospital Experience by Sheela Jaywant
All of the judges were impressed by the quality of entries. Thank you to everyone who entered and shared their stories.
Together we can make a difference that matters.
Announcing our Essay Contest
The Art of Love is Good Business Blog is running a writing contest
LOVE: A Better Way to Work with People Essay Contest
There are no fees of any kind to enter and win. We are looking for personal essays up to 750 words that share a true story about how Love and Compassion helped solve a work or business problem.
First Prize: $100
Second Prize $75
Third Prize $50
Deadline for submissions is July 30, 2016. Please check the rules at The Art of Love is Good Business.